Certain events, people, and even feelings that were alive and thriving in the past can be so unforgettable and ferocious that you hope and pray that they are what they should be, a "memory of the past". As good and unforgettable as those chapters were, you know that they should remain in history because you had realized that you were walking a path that was leading to self destruction and pain is the inevitable end of that journey. You are the type of person who does not like to give up, and for that reason you try and try and tried, even if your effort was wasted and everything that you've worked so hard for was in vain. You were able to wake up to a new beginning and finally was able to let it go. What you have in the present is where you should focus your energy. Or so you think.
Has time elapsed enough for them to be forgotten? People say that time heals everything. No shit. But what if you subconsciously want to lock a certain memory up somewhere to reminisce? Is that so bad? Even if you know you shouldn't because you've let it go for a reason. For a reason to you that was as clear as the summer sky in June. It doesn't even have to be the best experience you've ever had. It could just be so different and surreal compared to what you've had before. Maybe the right kind of wrong is what kept you alive. Even if the future holds nothing on this promise of unity, you still hold on to it, rather lightly, because the slight happiness is what you still want and need at that moment in time. And because sometimes having something that's unsatisfactory is better than having nothing at all.
For me, one of the worst feelings that I can experience is disappointment. Especially in the people that I love and think that I know so well. Maybe it's because when I give myself up to someone, I really do. There is nothing I wouldn't do to uphold and protect that person. Even if their flaws and mistakes eventually emerge. I either keep them inside, learn to love them, relate to them somehow, or express my thoughts and concerns to that person. Silly me, just because those are the things that I do it does not mean that the other person thinks the same way that I do. So when I discover where they go and how they rid themselves of the frustration towards me, I was surprised, hurt, and mostly disappointed.
